Then and Now

As much as I enjoy technology and its ease of being able to do so much within a few clicks, I also think it’s fair to say that technology has pretty much taken over our lives. Before we did so much online, I remember the first thing that so many people did on a Saturday morning was to visit a bank and wait in a queue in order to pay bills. Even though you can now pay a bill without even stepping outside your house, you’d think that people would have more time, but they just don’t seem to. Isn’t this strange? I remember the milkman having a nice long chat with my dad as he delivered the milk. I remember the postman asking my mom for the recipe of whatever she was cooking that day, as he loved the smell. I remember people in the street smiling as you walked past and asking you how our day was going. It was so normal for people to interact with one another face-to-face rather than constantly being glued to our phones.

While reading this, I hope you are inspired to try some new things with an old method, which hopefully enables you to discover a new you with a better understanding of time and presence. I am hoping that this article will bring back a lot of good memories and will make you feel as good as opening an old tin that’s filled with some rare treasures of childhood memories.

Before so many of us started to do so many things on our phones, life’s simple and unexpected surprises came from receiving a letter from a loved one, playing a game on the back of a cereal box whilst having breakfast, or turning on the radio and hearing one of your favourite songs being played.

Although instant messages are sent instead of letters, some responses take longer than sending a letter, which only makes us more paranoid when we don’t get an instant response. We become eager for a reply and have another excuse to constantly use our phones.

I remember people being more punctual and appreciating each other’s time and effort when they met up in person. When I was in high school, me and my friend would organise to meet up now and then at a corner sweet shop during the weekend. We planned this in advance, and we both made sure we would be there on the date and time we agreed because we wanted to make the most of our time together. We had no mobile phones, and there was no excuse for us not to meet up. We also trusted one another, as we didn’t want to let each other down, and understood how precious time was for both of us. 

I don’t know about you, but the majority of the time when I am trying to organise a weekend away with a friend or a catch-up at a café or cinema, I have to chase them to make sure they are still okay to meet up, because most of the time, things don’t go as planned.

Even though you can now send so many recommendations of places to eat when you meet up, it’s also very easy for the other person to now back out of the meeting with a message. Whereas previously, when people made an agreement to meet up, they made sure they turned up with little or no excuse. Of course, the reason may be genuine if they are unable to make it, but at the same time it may not be. I miss people not being as considerate as they used to towards the time and effort that people made for them.

I’ve always been fond of reading, and I would always like to walk into a library or a bookshop and just wonder between aisles and see which book catches my eye. I have tried to search for books online, and I have been doing this for a very long time, and yet I still haven’t been able to make up my mind on which books I want to read or buy. It just seems to be more fun and interesting for me to be able to walk into a place and cruise through the aisles rather than searching for one online.

I remember the quality time that I would spend with my family when I came back from school. I remember my parents picking up a photo album and telling me about their childhood memories and how they were related to the people in the pictures. I would sometimes also go and play with my friends outside, which not only assisted me physically but also kept my mind focused. A lot of games are now completed on playstations, which are also fun but just not the same as being outside in the fresh air with my pals.

As I’m in the middle of sending an email, which should take no more than 5 minutes, it usually turns out to be a lot longer than that. Why? Because I’m usually disturbed by other messages, which often involve a supposedly hilarious (not so hilarious) video on Tik Tok. I also have other emails popping up about a big sale or an update on when a parcel should be arriving. Too many messages all at once makes me feel as though my life is really hectic, but it really isn’t that hectic. In fact, it’s not hectic at all, but technology has a habit of making it feel as though it is.

All this random and unnecessary communication sometimes reminds me of all the joy I would get from the simplicity of sending or receiving letters and cards. I would admire the stamp and the printed design on the envelope and paper, which always made me beam. I always felt content when I would exchange my thoughts and write down (yes, write down instead of typing) my feelings on paper with my favourite blue pen. I always found it to be therapeutic as I wrote my reply. Although letters were simple, they always made me feel special. I am lucky that I still have a few friends that I still write to, and it is a great feeling to be able to touch the words and take in the fresh smell of paper as my eyes scroll through the written words. Even during Christmas, I used to receive so many Christmas cards when I was in school from friends and teachers. Some cards were from classmates who I hardly spoke to, but when we exchanged cards, this always gave us a chance to talk to one another and build a good friendship. Now it’s fair to say that I really don’t get as many as I used to because I think people have forgotten about how nice it feels to send or receive cards. Although people may prefer to send a greeting card via email or a message, let’s face it, this really can’t be compared to the joy of placing cards on the mantelpiece when you get home.

As much as I love Netflix and the variety of shows that are now available, I also remember the times when I would go to my friends or cousins house to watch episodes of a popular TV program that only came on once a week! We would all bring a lot of food to snack on, which usually involved a lot of crisps and pop. Rather than binge watching a TV series or reading the TV magazine to find out what was going to happen, we all looked forward to spending time with one another. We had something good to look forward to without anyone knowing or telling us what was going to happen. If I was having a bad day, I reminded myself of this gathering, which always cheered me up.

As much as I love shopping, I also get a little frustrated with how I have to register and create an account when I’m buying something online. There’s a lot of passwords to remember. I also get endless emails when I am in the middle of reading a book or doing daily chores, which distracts me to buy something that I really don’t need. I think it can be more beneficial to go in a shop and properly look at an item before adding it to my cart so that I know for sure if I want to buy it and don’t have to worry about paying extra for delivery. I also don’t have to worry about returning the item, which is something that is always at the back of my mind whenever I do online shopping. I think it also has the advantage of having a nice chat with the person at the till. You may possibly bump into an old friend or someone who is attractive. It’s also helpful for you to go for a walk and clear your mind.

I remember seeing a café that had a board outside that said there is no Wi-Fi. Talk to one another. I absolutely loved this. For the past few months, whenever I have been meeting up with anyone, I have switched off my mobile phone, completely locking this out of sight! I did this because I feel I can fully engage and be present with the people that I am with when I am not giving any attention to my phone. All those messages and phone calls can wait and be responded to later on. I want to give my full attention to the people that have made an effort to meet me and spend time with me. Can you imagine what it would be like to visit that café and have a nice conversation with someone without being distracted by your phone or going there to read a book and have some quality time with yourself? Just imagine because you can still feel good to do things the old way.

There is no doubt that technology certainly has made our lives easier, faster, better, and more fun, but at the same time, I hope you manage to find a balance where you just don’t do everything online because, let’s face it, you can’t smell a flower by looking at a picture of it.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this. I would love to hear about any new techniques that you will try and how these have made you feel. In this long journey of life, I hope you manage to find a way to be present wherever you are.